Wednesday, May 21, 2008
It's been two years since we're together and about 1.5 yrs living together... but...
Sighz, perhaps the difference in values and outlook in life.
I have made efforts to call him when I'm free but none from him. Not even an sms which he used to send in Chinese during the very beginning of our relationship.
Everything is spoken in English, none of any effort from him to speak to me in Chinese. English is just the dumbest language that doesn't express as proper and vividly as the Chinese language.
I was expected to aplease him this morning his ideal way something like this:" So much work again? busy day for you huh"
When by nature and character, I'm not a bimbo who speaks such things when I already know that there's a lot of work to be done and the only time you'll sound cold and harsh is when I disturb you in the middle of your work.
Seriously speaking, sub-conciously, you're still very influenced by your mum, expecting a certain way of response and action from the other party.
When I am sad, angry or upset, the least thing I want to do is to drag you down together, spoil the rest of the day and just speak out. If only life was so easy, ya I will do it, even to my students and the parents. So Obviously, life is not and everyday, I need to iteract. So unlike you who gets to sit in the aircon office, I need to walk and hurry under the hot sun and endure bumpy rides from stupid drivers time to time. There're also times when I don't feel good so I don't even bother to call you.
Why would I want to sound upset when I call you? Of cos I will try to sound happy even if I'm not or at least I don't make it sound like the end of the world like the way you complain about the aunties in your office what.
And I don't expect a certain reaction like you assume that you must aplease me like how you aplease your mum cause she is old and she needs it. If you're busy, don't want to talk, just tell me as usual you're busy and you'll call back later which you never ever do.
So since you either find it irritating, annoying or meaningless to call you. Then I shan't call you since I don't get calls or sms frequently from you. Fair and equal lo, like what you always advocate.
You have always been contradicting your own words time to time and I find that it's just stupid cause you're just as stubborn not to admit any of your flaws. Whatever, I think you need to attend courses on stress and anger management cause you clearly can't manage them at all.
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